I have heard from many people wondering how I am doing or worried that I made it home safely since I have been completely quiet here. I feel bad for my complete lack of posts since leaving Sudan. It was not something I expected to happen but last week I found myself in an overwhelming fog. I was hit hard w/ jet lag, a nasty cold, major back issues & then just being back to my reality was the trumper. It was so great to get back home to my family & friends as well as the comforts of life but I didn't expect to have such a horrible feeling of disconnect w/ everything that I had just experienced. I have lived in the 3rd world & since then traveled to many corners of the world so these feelings shocked me. I have had a really difficult time trying to wrap my mind around the feelings & just couldn't figure out why I wasn't sooooo excited to start sharing all the images. It has now been 9 days since I have been home & even today I still couldn't understand why my motivation isn't there. But tonight it hit me. I am definitely a person who lives in the moment. I look forward to what is ahead of me but not w/ great expectations & I have never been one to relish in the past. Coming away from a trip where everyday was completely incredible in small & big ways I find myself in a spot where I really wish I could convey all that I experienced & am left looking at images that I don't think even scratch the surface. I have never had that feeling. I have looked at the images a handful of times & I am left empty. I want them to be so much more, to tell the incredible stories I learned of the strength, beauty & resilience of the people I met but they are just images...ugh, I wish I had words to better explain. When I think of my images from my last big trip to Laos my feelings are so different. I LOVE the images, I don't want anything more from them. I so wish I could have that settled feeling about this trip. I think I am struggling with knowing there is so much going on in S. Sudan right now & that the future of this region of the world is so tenuous. Seriously, I have sat at my keyboard for too many minutes now unable to find the words. All I know is that this trip has impacted me to my core, I don't want to forget this part of the world, I want to do more, I am not sure what form that will take but I cannot just be done, walk away with a file full of images. So my days have been spent with my little brain spinning about what I can do from here. I will for sure continue to work w/ Ujenzi & MGH and hopefully my lack of clarity will disappear with time. (Okay...this is crazy but I just re-read what I wrote & now sit w/ tears streaming down my face...this is not at all like me & I think my head might pop off from trying to figure it out & not be sad every time I think about all the people I met & their state of life...makes my stomach turn!)

So for now, I must force myself to start sharing what I did capture & hope that it is enough for now. If you are reading this I would love to receive any thoughts, feedback you have. I have never been one to ask for emails or comments about my images but I would be so grateful to hear your thoughts.
These were taken during my first visit to the local market.

Leaving Southern Sudan

After a very long & bumpy ride from Torit to Juba we arrived to find we did not have a place to sleep. We were all exhausted and very dirty from the dusty trip, not a fun way to arrive. After a few hrs we moved to a hotel...picture rundown trailer park style motel. Not pretty but they had ac which buoyed our moods. We were looking forward to a nice, solid shower but found only a trickle from the shower head. The day ended w/ the hilarious scenes of trying to sponge bath in w/ just a few inches of water in a basin. It was not pretty but at least the top layer of grime was removed & we were able to laugh our way through it.
I woke early this morning unable to fall back asleep. My head is spinning with so many different thoughts, I am thinking it might pop off soon! I am very excited that I will start my journey home today & be seeing my family on Saturday. I am sure I will be jumping out of my skin w/ excitement when I see them at the airport. This has been the longest I have been away from family since I lived in Lesotho. I am sitting here on my tiny little plank bed, underneath the mosquito net thinking about all the people who have made this trip possible. I could not have done it without having the incredible (and understanding) support of my husband & parents. They really have given me an unforgettable gift. And to my friends & family who provided childcare & extra hands, it made being away that much smoother! And finally to my assistant, Nikki Casey, who did a great job addressing my work issues while I was away, I could not have been away w/o your assistance, thank you!
And then my head is spinning w/ thoughts of what I have seen, S. Sudan's current state & the excitement I have to get home and work through all my images.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have been in S. Sudan during a historical time for the people. The two weeks we were here registrating for the referendum was taking place. People were returning to their home counties from all over this country and outside it. Registration ended Weds. and now they wait until January 9th. The referendum is monumental for the people of S. Sudan. They must receive their independence in order to have any hope of peace in their country. The doctor I am rooming with made a comment last night that it is so strange to think that we get to leave today and in the next few months this area could break out into another war. That is so hard to wrap my mind around. The Sudanese have been through 50+ yrs of war. They are incredibly resiliant and hopeful that this referendum will bring them the peace they have been struggling for years to find. It will be an atrocity if the country falls back into war. If independence is acheived they still have a very long road ahead but at least it will give them a place to start from. Please follow the events of Sudan in the weeks and months to come!
Finally my last thoughts I have had the past few days are in regards to fear. It has been driven home to me on this trip that it is so important not to let fear control your decisions. Prior to my trip, so many people told me I was crazy for wanting to travel to S. Sudan. It was not safe, it was a horrible place, how could I go to such a place and leave my family behind??? It went on and on. I appreciated the concern but felt that I needed to follow my instinct that it was the right thing for me to do and that I would be safe. I would travel with caution but not let this fear divert me. A few days after arriving in Torit I was laying in bed wondering if maybe I should stay in the town and not venture out. Maybe it was a stupid thing to do, maybe I should be afraid...and as I lay there those thoughts overtook me and I started thinking about the what ifs and what the heck was I really doing in Sudan. But I woke in the morning deciding I needed to get out and I couldn't let the unknown be scary to me. And as I traveled w/ caution I found that it was necessary to get out of Torit. So I will stop the rambling here. I am thankful for all the support and concern I received leading up to this trip. It does mean so much that so many care for my safety & well being. But I think it is so important to share here that we all must try hard not to let fear dominate our decision making because we can never move forward and learn if we stay grounded in fear!! I have learned and seen so much during my time here, it has been a trip of a lifetime. And I am so excited to get home and give big hugs and kisses to my family!!
Thank you for following me through this adventure and stay tuned...pictures will be coming soon!

Sudan Day??

As the days have flown by all of us are finding ourselves more & more tired. I think it is due to a number of things. We are all up early to get to work, our diets are consisting mostly of breads w/ a more “normal”/nutritious meal at dinner, we find ourselves working late into the night & then our energy is further sapped by the heat. But it is easy to push on as we know our stay is finite. I often find myself wondering if I could live in this environment forever & how lucky am I that I get the option to fly away! The things that we find tiresome or dirty (all sizes of bugs & flies, dust & dirt everywhere, drop latrines & cement enclosed showers, the list can go on and on) are things that are common place for the Sudanese and we are not really experiencing their true hardships like carrying loads of water, wood, goods to sell, materials to construct a home (the list is endless) on our heads, we are not cooking over an open fire, we are not washing our laundry by hand, we are not spending all day in the market hoping to earn a few pounds…on and on and on…I can only imagine their level of tiredness when their day comes to a close but so often instead of complete quietness at the end of the day we hear the pounding of drums, singing, lots of social carrying on until all hours of the night.
This is a very small view of the life of a Sudanese. But can you imagine that daily life constantly being interrupted by the death of a family member or friend? Death is a constant reality here. And I am not trying at all to be dramatic w/ this post, just trying to give you a sense of the reality. Let me tell you about the deaths I have learned of that have taken place in my short time here. The day I went to the University (my first full day in-country) I was told some medical students would not be able to come meet me as their friend (a student at the college of education) had been hit by a car the night before and died. A young, bright life quickly erased. Then we come to Torit. There are 11 participants in the training and just in the last 5 days 3 of them have lost a relative. One man’s sister delivered a stillborn baby, one woman’s cousin’s 12 yr old son drowned & just today another woman came to tell us she could not stay as her brother-in-law died yesterday in a car accident. He left 6 children. Death is always present here. And just because it is happening more often does not mean they have become desensitized to it, tears still flow, death is always painful. And I get to fly away on Friday…how lucky are we??!! Please know that I write not to proselytize but just to continue to give you an idea of my experience here.
Last night our tiredness was buoyed. We had a completely magical night. I am not one to use fruffy words like magical but I cannot find another word that would better describe it. Our evening plan has always been to eat & work either at the hotel or nearby at a “restaurant” near where we stay, but yesterday we wanted to celebrate a birthday of one of project lead. Executing a surprise party in S. Sudan proved to be challenging & very humorous. We had heard of a great spot to watch the sunset so two of us ran around for an hour in the afternoon gathering dinner (chicken w/ tomatoes in a bag & beans in a bag), drinks, a little cake (picture a 1/8-sized banana bread loaf that doesn’t taste like anything but cooked dark flour), a taxi ride to get to the location. It was all falling into place as we rushed around. I left to get the chicken, my counterpart finishing a shower was to find the car & we would go. The one restaurant we eat at said they were out of chicken…uh oh…but they then said that across the street I could find chicken, “the same” I asked, “yes, the same” they laughed. Run across the road, whew, they did in fact have chicken and beans. My partner finds me and we head back to the taxi only to find him w/ his hood up & a dead battery….of course it is dead!! Taxis are hard to come by here but we are told we can go by motorcycle....not an option w/ all we have in tow but also not allowed by the project. So we get out to help little boys who have gathered to push start the car, we are back in business. As we head down the road we come upon a herd of cattle heading home, our driver decides to detour around instead of wait for an opening. We went at least 5 minutes out of our way for cows. We finally arrive to a Catholic Mission, our spot for the sunset but the sun in buried behind a thick blanket of clouds. My counterpart is worried that the surprise is going to be a bust because we have no sun to watch. I figure that regardless of the sun the extent we had gone through would be surprise enough and I’m sure much appreciated by the birthday girl. We walk about a ½ mile across the mission grounds to find an old church that has been bombed out. It was beautiful. We hang the one tacky red streamer we found at the shop and wait. Just as the birthday girl and our other colleagues approach the red sun emerges from the clouds. She is so surprised by the setting and the party. We sit amongst the ruins and watch the sun go down. I have walked around ruins that were centuries old, it was hard to believe that these had been bombed less than 30 yrs ago. A sad reminder to the post-war country we are in and the pain and anguish all the citizens have lived through.
We could not bring ourselves to leave. We sat under the stars, listening to music from a computer. I would wander off to another part of the building to sit away from the conversation, look up at the stars, the building & trees silhouetted by the blue sky & listen to the drumming and signing coming from the village nearby. It was 9pm here and I thought about what my husband and boys would be doing at home, still just 10 in the morning. I pictured both Oscar & Cooper in their respective classes, my husband hopefully getting a few hours of R&R (I have forgotten to mention he has been Super Dad while I am away, the tree is up and decorated, gingerbread houses made, lots of great things the boys have gotten to do all because of him) and here I sat under the stars, on the ledge of ruins in Southern Sudan. It was quite a moment. That is all I can say.
It was so much fun to relax, laugh & enjoy an incredible experience with new friends. We were renewed this morning to finish strong and well. The workshop closes today and we will depart for Juba in the morning. It is hard to believe I have just 2 days left here but it is also hard to believe that I get to be home w/ my family in just 3.5 days!! I can’t wait!

So I lost connection all day & finally getting a window to cut & paste what I wrote earlier. I also thought I may be able to post pictures but not possible.
Sitting here in the training hall after lunch. Hot as usual, looking
forward to an evening cold shower. Decided to go back to the market
this morning and explore further. Always a bombardment of visual
stimuli there. Now when I walk I see at least one person who I have
met before which is nice. Abdalah was near the mkt this morning, I
met him the other day when I sat on the rocks near the market. I
talked w/ him briefly before moving on. Some of the market
highlights: thin, muscular men, sweating bullets as they unloaded
huge sacks of ?? into a storage area. They were thrilled to get their
picture taken. Then I found the fish section. Larger pieces were
dried in thinner long pieces and then kind of braided into bigger
clumps. Then there were little smoked fish and a few larger ones. Of
course, none of it looked at all appetizing! Then I passed the
vegetable section which consist of cabbage, tomatoes, okra, red onions
& random greens, next came the grain & bean area. Then fried ball
like donuts, some sort of condensed mixture the old men selling it
said it was tobacco?? To me it looked like a greener mixture of dung,
mud & straw...would love to know what it was made of. There were
women selling flour that was swarming w/ bees. I asked if the bees
stung and they all infatically nodded yes, but none of them acted
alarmed at all as they worked right in the middle of it or the little
kids just off to the side. I got close and didn't get stung. I guess
the bees are too focused on the flour to think about stinging a
person?? Continuing on I came to bags of what looked like white chalk
chunks but it was dried potatoes that would later be ground into
flour. In the same area were fresh potatoes. Finally I came to the
shoes, clothes & other accessories area. It was time to turn back
around and retrace my steps. Close to the buzzing bees Abdalah found
me and pointed to the right so I followed. It hadn't dawned on me
that I hadn't seen the meat area but it quickly became apparent that
there was a whole other row. You can see every part from the mouth to
the hooves, insides & out, on the tables. There were about 15 buthery
stalls.
Abdalah continued to give me Arabic lessons as we walked. When we
returned to the rock sitting spot I was quickly surrounded by curious
onlookers (all men) who were very enthusiastic to help me w/ my Arabic
so I pulled out my notebook and filled a page w/ translations. My
horrible pronunciations brought immediate laughs so I would keep
trying until I got a collective ahhhh or nod.
Abdalah walked w/ me back to just across from our compound and was
telling me he wanted to buy me a drink (all this in Arabic and
gestures). I kindly said no thank you but he insisted, that it was
his brother's shop just across from where we stay. So I accepted and
he was disappointed that I wanted water instead of a Coke. So he got
me two. Being bought a drink instead of being asked to pay for
someone's drink was such a nice change! (I had pulled out my pictures
of the boys and a family picture during the language tutoring so all
are clear that I have a husband and kids at home). It was just a nice
gesture!!

Sudan Day 9

So I feel like I, with what I am sharing, may think rainbows are flying out of my a**, but omg I am at the end of yet another PHENOMENAL day!! Really thought it would be a quiet one, staying in to do video interviews w/ a few of the wkshop participants. Even after the first 1 I was on cloud 9. If I had written a script it would never have been better than this woman spoke about the state of maternal & infant care in the villages, her overwhelming, genuine excitement w/ this program training & confidence that it will translate to saving lives in the villages. I am 100% sure she wasn't just trying to say the right things. Her enthusiasm will hopefully spur support from donors!
Then early in the afternoon I decide to join the others at the Torit Hotel (more like a rundown motel) to work. The hotel has electricity during the day w/ a bonus of overhead fans. On the way I see a pair or women walking my direction and one is fully draped in an incredibly vibrant red wrap, head to toe. I just cannot let her pass by w/o taking a picture it was so dramatic. So I approach them & get their consent to take a few. I thought to myself that if I have reached the extent of my image capturing for the day it has been another great day & I would be content.
But while working, I heard men chanting & marching by the entrance of the hotel. I saw a flag go by & knew they were marching for the referendum. I was bummed I missed them. Luck would have it that 20 minutes later I heard them on their way back. I quickly grabbed my camera & sprinted out the door. It was such a cool scene. Men in white referendum shirts were singing while being lead by the S. Sudanese flag. I snapped a few pictures, raised my fist to them, they sang & cheered louder, I ran ahead, snapped more, ran further ahead again & did a little video. It was so great & I was about to return to the hotel when I decided maybe I should follow them. They marched to the grounds where the soccer games had been played, a HUGE open area. There were 3 big open sided tent like things filled w/ lots of plastic chairs set up, something was going to be going on here but I had no idea what yet. So I figured I would watch and wait. The men marched around & then another group of young men came w/ drums. Some were painted & had small head dresses. Oh this is getting good, I thought to myself. Then I thought how crazy that once again I found myself getting to witness another incredible scene. Then a group of women came out of nowhere in traditional beaded dress & joined in the dancing, even better. After a while I think I had better run back & grab my long lens camera because this was just too good. I take off running & I am sure that was a strange sight for everyone else…look at that white girl taking off!!!
When I return the scene just keeps going & more & more people are joining in. I decide to take a seat in one of the chairs & just take it all in (in the shade, so nice!) There are men & women jumping all over the place wielding spears. One older woman draped in a lavender wrap starts coming towards me as she brandishes her spear. She is having fun w/ me & I can’t believe this is happening to me!! Incredible! There are now groups forming everywhere and in the distance there is a group of men covered in red dirt, long feathers coming off the top of their heads, carrying spears & long wooden cylinders while jumping up & down around a guy playing a drum & another who is blowing through a gynormous cattle horn horn . I decide I need to get a closer look at these guys so I walk out to the group. I move around the group for awhile & then out of now where streams of Land Cruisers pour into the area, armed soldiers jump out & then someone who is obviously very prominent emerges from one of the cruisers. I now realize the chairs have all been packed with distinguished looking people (a handful I recognize from the King’s funeral). The man, tightly guarded by soldiers starts making a processional around a huge area shaking hands of the mobs of people. I somehow find myself directly in front of him quickly moving backwards while he moves forward. I am snapping away, this is CRAAAZZZZZYYY!!! Then a 3 hour rally takes place. Having relinquished my seat I am not left to stand in the sun at the front of the crowd. Should have put sunscreen on, but oh well, this is worth it. I am in the middle of a major Southern Sudanese referendum rally, OH MY GOSH life is ridiculous about now! There were many speeches that ended w/ an hour plus speech from this man they referred to as “Your Excellency”. Then the man, his entourage, other prominent parliamentary members are all whisked off leaving behind them more dancing. Did I really get to see all that today??!!! I haven’t had a chance to look at the back of my camera to see what I managed to capture, I can’t wait to look.
So you would think that would be the close of my great day, but no….the week leading up to this trip so many people asked me what I was going to be doing or what I expected. I told them I had no idea (I really had NO idea) but I just felt it would be a great trip, but if the photography side ended up a bust I knew that I was sure to meet one or two great new people and that would be enough. And when I say great it had nothing to do w/ what they did or “who” they were it was just that I knew I would enjoy meeting new people. So tonight I realized that not only the photography side has been unforgettable but I have met great people. And it goes along w/ my belief that even if on paper someone is different than me I probably can find something in common with them to connect with. So I want to share the last part of my day because I kind of feel like it is just as special as the photography. It is something I need to keep reminding myself to push past when I am at home in my comfort zone.
I have really loved connecting w/ two women here & I want to give you their “on paper” backgrounds:
The first is a 23 yr old, 2009 Wellsely (I’m so dumb I can’t even spell this East Coast all girls school). You would think we would have nothing in common but we definitely connect & I am amazed at the head on her shoulders & feel lucky to crossed paths with her. The second is a devout (but not overt) Pentacostal, non-drinker, OB/GYN doctor from Boston. I could have assumed these are 3 things I do not have anything in common w/…religious, no fun, too smart east coaster, call it a day & not try to get to know her. At home I wonder if I would have. We have enjoyed long conversations w/ each other, she is such a great woman & tonight we both laughed that & conquered that it is ESSENTIAL to always get out of your comfort zone, try and connect w/ others even when you think they are so different than yourself because usually you find just the opposite & maybe you can learn something from each other. We sat at the roadside grill until the kicked us out. Such a great end to another mind-blowing day!!

Now if only I wasn't sweating at 11pm!! Africa hot never gets any easier!

Morning in Torit!

It was a short night & when I woke I needed to head straight to the outhouse. I’m sure you can imagine how I felt when I found all 3 locked on the outside. It was not good. 2 of the 5 of us have been hit w/ stomach problems in the last few days so when you find you do not have access to facilities…it was not good. I walked back to my room trying to talk my stomach off the cliff. It was just getting to be light out so I waited, finally I decided to head to breakfast (our breakfasts consist of bread, butter, tea & Nescafe, thankfully one of the drs travels w/ peanut butter!) hoping something would open soon. I sat eating trying to talk myself into venturing out to catch the morning light. You may be surprised to read this from me but I will try & explain. Taking pictures in this environment is not as easy as walking out the door & snapping away. I am very cautious to make sure I do not offend anyone or make them feel like I am entitled to take pictures w/o their agreement. I have been working on learning a few greetings & words in both Arabic & Lotoka. It can be very exhausting constantly being watched & trying to bridge the language and random white person gap. But I find if I put myself out there I am usually met w/ a smile & that opens the door. As soon as I make my attempt to speak giggles & twittering usually follow.
But this morning I just wasn’t sure I had the energy to get out there, but I had an ongoing internal dialogue w/ myself & managed to take the steps in the right direction. I never have a destination so I started walking the “alley ways” back off the main road. Trying to find the right time to break into an introduction always takes observation & patience. I walked passed a butcher, thank goodness they thoroughly cook their meat, is all I can say! Snapped a few and walked on. A few minutes later I approached little children as they stood in the entrance of their compound gawking and giggling at me. I tried to talk & laugh w/ them & then I decided to invite myself into their compound & meet the adults who I saw sitting around, also staring at me. The hellos always go well, smiles, giggling, twittering all commence. And then they try to talk more to me and then I start treading water. But at least I am in. They ask me to sit. We use sign language & a few English words to continue to try and connect. And then I point to the women smearing just in front of their rondavels. I point to them, action that I would like to try and am met w/ more laughter and nodding w/ a gesture to try. For those of you not familiar w/ what smearing is, the women use a mixture of mud, dung & water to thinly spread around. It forms a very hard, “clean” area. They do it both inside & outside their homes. So I put my cameras down, knelt near the edge of the newly smeared area & the woman tossed the mud mixture my way & moved a bowl of dirty water near me & I got to it. The key to smearing is to keep the mixture moist as you spread (using the handy bowl of dirty water) and smooth it out until it is even w/ the drier area. Now, instead of being behind the camera I looked up and found a couple young men w/ their cell phone cameras out. We all had a laugh. I did an area & then gave my hands a good wash. The yg men then invited me to smoke their hukka…I laughed & politely passed. We sat a while longer & then it was time for me to head back for the start of the workshop. I said my goodbyes & left w/ my heart soaring & reminding me that I MUST push myself out of my comfort & tired zone. I feel like the reward of my effort continued after I left the compound. I came upon my first Sudanese wheelchair. A woman who I had seen sitting & moving around on her knees earlier was not in the alleyway in her chair. Picture a very old 3-wheeled hand-powered bicycle. Little boys had to help push her as the ground is so bumpy.
And the scenes kept unfolding as I neared my “home”. Three beautiful older women in colorful fabrics were walking by. One smoking a long wooden pipe. I said my hellos, giggles & twitters followed w/ a nod that I could photograph them. My heart was in the clouds!!! The woman w/ the pipe, her face showed that she was full of stories. Age lines, traditional scarification & her smile…ugh it was amazing! (I feel like I use the same descriptive constantly but there just are not enough words to describe these incredible people & scenes!). I could have stayed in the moment w/ these women for a few hours but instead I snapped just a few and we all continued on w/ our day. And just around the corner was my last reward. An elderly man who had obvious eyesight problems surrounded by colorful fabrics while seated behind a pedal powered sewing machine…seriously. I do not know how I am going to be able to wade through all these images when I return. Constant visual beauty set amongst such a very harsh environment. Still pinching myself!!

I was not planning on using my blog for this trip but I since I now am unable to share images, I want to continue sharing some of my experiences while here and it cannot be conveyed in Facebook's 420 character limit. I will continue to post quick updates on FB as it is easier but will try my best & share here too.

Today was another unforgetable day but it was OVER THE TOP on crazy factor. I am still pinching myself now!

When my guide, Dickens (a “cousin” of the medical director who works in the Ministry of Regional Coordination, picked me up this morning he said we would go to the mountain village but then the driver would go back and I could go w/ him earlier or stay out as Dr. Augustine (the med dir) would be coming out to attend the last rights/funeral in the area. I said I would stay out since it sounded like we would be back by 5 or 6. During most of the first hour of the drive we talked about the current state of Sudanese affairs. I was just soaking it all in, so much to talk about it made for a quick ride. Then I saw women winnowing sorghum on giant rock area that had deep bowl like indentions. I asked to stop. Picture 5 older women bent over sweeping (African brooms, not the type we use) sorghum all over the rock w/ a big herd of goats behind them and then big boulders further off in the distance…incredible! But we had to push on. Then we passed a stream of women carrying wood & I again asked to stop. I ran back to where the women were resting in the shade of a big tree. It was SOOO hot & the loads they were carrying had to be so heavy and then the distance they had to go…it is way worse than the “I had to walk a mile to school through and uphill both ways”. Then we drove on, about 5 minutes later the driver said he did not have enough full to get all the way to the mtn village…okay, we will go back 10 minutes to the small trading area and see if they have any fuel. No fuel there, so Dickens sends the driver back to Torit w/o further discussion. So much for the mountain village. And now I have no idea what the day will bring, welcome to the African way. For all you Peace Corps peeps, remember in training they kept pounding into us the importance of being flexible, you all remember the African way and how a plan you think is really good goes in a completely different direction w/o notice.
So we sat down for a drink, which then became lunch because now I realize we are waiting for Dr. Augustine. Lunch was small, flatter little breads w/ a bowl of 2 big cubes of beef and a soup like sauce. Steered clear of the meat but thanked God for the bread!! Then we sat outside, and we sat…then I decided to get up at least and have a walk while we waited. I found a local “brewery” w/ a few men enjoying the fermented drink. Just 100 yds from there was the local butchery. Oh it was not pretty. There were a handful of smaller parts on a thin word platform drying or waiting to be bought?? Then on another table were the rib section and another big slab of meat near a hand scale. Then there were a handful of people enjoying some freshly roasted pieces over a small fire close to the meat source which my local guide so kindly lifted the hide up to show me the remaining innards & meat. Yes, be thankful while you are reading this for refrigeration & your local butcher!
At around 2pm, after another drink, Dickens tells me we are ready to go. I wonder where we are going since I have not seen the dr arrive. Maybe we have another ride?? No, instead we walk across the road, through the village and I realize we have arrived at the site of the funeral/last rights. We walk into a large open area w/ men seated in groups. We start making our rounds of saying hello (Mong, mong, mong, ogolo, mong, ogolo, mong, mong…a hand shake can go on for quite a long time, I saw one go on like this, back and forth for a good 2 minutes) to all the men and then we pull up chairs amongst the most prominent looking group. Dickens tells me one of the men is the former governor of the state of Eastern Equatoria, another is a member of the parliament, he goes around the circle of men like this and I start wondering who has died, so I ask. This was just any man, it was the KING of the Lotoka Tribe!! What??!!! Everyday just keeps getting more wild! It was a long catholic ceremony followed by 5 speeches and then as we were nearing 5:30 it ended but I knew we would not be on our way back. I was invited to eat w/ these men & then drink w/ these men…but fortunately I also got to leave the vip area and wonder amongst all the women sitting, eating & drinking. How did I get to be amongst this scene, is all I could think! We finally departed at 7:30 to start our return. One stop for one more beer…oh how I really wanted to get back to Torit as I knew my colleagues would be wondering what the heck happened to me! Fortunately they kept it to one beer and the driver was not drinking and I arrived safely home! I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that I would have that experience in my very brief time here. Oh what a day!! And now I must sleep! Good night!

What am I doing in Sudan??

I am finding that many people are wondering what brought me to Sudan & what exactly am I doing here. So here is a rundown...
In February I was getting very antsy with my work. I love my clients & taking pictures of families but I was needing a new challenge so I thought about doing something completely different as I know that in the future our family will be moving to live overseas for a few yrs. So I briefly looked into nursing school and masters in public health and found myself saying to a few friends that in 5-10 yrs I will be doing something internationally in photography (w/ no idea how I would get there). But then in May, I decided to challenge myself a different way and did the Giving Every Day in May fundraiser to benefit Soulumination. During that month and following I realized I needed to continue w/ my photography instead of looking elsewhere. It is truly my passion & I realized I can make a difference in peoples' lives so I had to continue on. Then randomly at my closing event in June to celebrate all the people who donated to Soul & hand over the funds raised a woman whose kids I had photographed for the fundraiser asked me if I would even want to travel internationally to photograph...she could have pushed me over w/ a feather. And then she went on to ask if I would be open to traveling to Sudan...I couldn't believe she said Sudan because I have been talking w/ my husband about Sudan since the late 90's. CRAZY how this world works!! We met in August to talk a little more about it and then in Sept. I met w/ Dr. Thomas Burke, who is heading this project and many others globally, while he was visiting Seattle on business. He is an ER doctor at Mass General in Boston and the director of the ER program at Harvard. We talked about me traveling to Sudan in March...I was so excited about the opportunity. And then in early Nov the dr asked if I could go in Dec. I initially said I could not do it due to my workload but then I realized I must try and make it happen. But just 3 weeks later, with the support of my family & some crazy work hours (and great clients) I am here. I am still having a hard time believing I am actually really here!
It is already an amazing trip that I have always dreamed about doing and I still have 10 days left here in Sudan. The group I am with, on behalf of the Sudan Ministry of Health & MGH(3 doctors & 1 support coordinator) are starting today w/ a training workshop to train midwives and nurses from the countryside how to train frontline village healthcare workers with the goal to provide better knowledge and tools to assist w/ maternal and infant healthcare. The infant and maternal mortality rate in S. Sudan is one of the worst in the world. The organization is also doing work w/ the Southern Sudan Medical College which is more than a bare bones status right now. Without the work that Dr. Burke and his group is doing w/ the University the students would have been without teachers for most of this year. I have been with this group for a very short time but can already tell how hard working and committed they are to this project. Their dedication is so obvious and I am hopeful their hard work will provide very positive results for women and children in S. Sudan. I am really honored to have the opportunity to see & document the work they are doing. I believe there are many unproductive development projects throughout the world and to see one that seems to be sustainable and is educating the local population instead of band-aiding their problems is so great!
The Sudanese are like no other people I have ever met. So resilient, optimistic, hardworking and stunningly beautiful. It seems that they are not looking for handouts but just a hand up. There is a monumental referendum taking place in January for people to vote to create an independent S. Sudan and separate from the north. It is a very crucial time and there is concern that civil war may break out which would be devastating to the southerners who have been through years and years of unimaginable hardship. Most have been displaced to camps in Kenya, Uganda,Ethiopia only recently returned in the last few years. They are educated and want to build their communities again. I think it is possible if they get their freedom and all remains peaceful. They so deserve it! If you have a chance go buy What is the What? by Dave Eggers. It is an incredible book that gives some insight to the plight of so many here. Even if you have never had an interest in Sudan or even Africa, the book is a great read and the timing is perfect to read it now so you will have an understanding of the importance of January's referendum.
I am hoping to continue to post images on Facebook when I have connection fast enough. Please email me or send a message to me via Facebook if you have any specific questions.

Happy and safe in Sudan

I have been in Sudan for almost a week now. It has been an amazing trip so far and I am so thankful to have gotten this opportunity. I have limited access to the web and the connection is slow so I cannot post images here but if you find me on Facebook (not my business page, just Tara Clark) you can view some of the images I am taking along the way.

It is after midnight and the snow has finally stopped. It has been a CRAZY day in Seattle, we received so much more snow than forecasted, it just wouldn't stop. The roads are covered w/ about 6" & I am hoping to be able to get to the airport for my flight just after noon. It looks like I will be hiking downtown to catch the new lightrail to the airport. Keeping fingers crossed that I make it but if not tomorrow I am sure I will get out soon. I am really having a hard time believing that I am going to be in Africa tomorrow. It has been 15 yrs since I have been there and I am beside myself with excitement and I cannot say how much I appreciate all the support I have received from everyone.

It is rare for me to have pictures of myself but today I figured I needed one to take with me of my boys. From snow one day to 90 degree weather the next. I think I am in for one amazing ride! And I cannot wait to share it with my favorites guys!
Hopefully I will have a chance or two to post here or on Facebook from the road. So check back! And enjoy this wonderful winter weather!

I have been MIA here because for the past 2+ weeks I have been working day & night, literally...even weekends, because I am leaving for Sudan TOMORROW!! The timing of the trip couldn't really be worse as the last quarter of every year is always my busiest, most demanding time and then there is Thanksgiving that my family was planning on spending w/ my parents on the Oregon Coast...I feel so lucky to have all their support in making my trip a reality. I will write a little more on that later but I have been telling myself for wks that before I left I would share with you pictures I took of one amazing young man. But there is so much more than just pictures to share so buckle up for a long post.

In September, I was with my boys at the University St. Starbucks waiting in line. Oscar, my youngest, pointed out the super strong leg belonging to the guy in front of us. He mentioned it a second time and as I was leaning down to ask him if he wanted to ask the guy about his leg the guy turned around and opened himself up to questions. We talked briefly about how he lost his leg, a drunk driver hit him while he was standing next to his car. We talked a little about the driver who had 2 DUIs on his record and only received 2.5 yrs in jail. I was so impressed with this young man, I assumed the accident had happened years ago but I was shocked when he told me it had happened within the last year. And then I asked how long his recovery had taken...my jaw must have dropped to the floor when he said he had been bedridden until just 3 month ago. I just couldn't believe it because he carried himself with such strength. To have gone through what he had so recently and to be sharing his story so openly was almost incomprehensible to me and I just thought that he must be one amazing young man. I am not shy so I asked a few more questions and found out he had graduated from UW just last year w/ an aerospace (or maybe aeronautical) engineering degree but was unemployed given the current state of the economy jobs were scarce. I learned all this while in line and then we said our goodbyes and I got my coffee and snacks for the boys. We went outside & I talked more w/ my boys about what an incredible person we had just met. He inspired me and I just couldn't let it pass so I went in and got a coffee sleeve, jotted down my contact information and decided I was going to give it to him because I wanted to photograph him & maybe others who inspire me. But as we went to walk across the street he was with friends and I didn't want to impose so we walked on by. Then a half block later I just had to take one more look back and I saw he was walking our way all alone. So as he caught up I told him I wasn't a stalker and we exchanged names & I told him if he was ever up for it I would love to photograph him and learn more about him. He said there were some news articles that I could find online and I said I would look them up but I wanted to do more than just a news piece on him but that I completely understood if he never contacted me as I appeared to be a bit of a crazy lady (good thing my kids looked normal).
Anyway, I shared my story of meeting him with quite a few friends. I felt so lucky to have crossed paths with him that even if we never met again he made my day that day and inspired me for sure. I went home and read the news articles and learned that the accident was even worse than he had shared. His dad was also severely injured and the rehabilitation for both was extreme and the impact the accident had on his family was unimaginable. Jason had mentioned that he was unemployed, I learned from the article that he had just been interviewing before the accident and received a job offer but had been in a coma when the offer came.
I really expected he wouldn't think twice about contacting me so when I saw an email in my inbox from Jason Wong my heart skipped a beat! He was up for meeting again and letting me take his pictures. Then the weather turned bad and my workload was crazy. I just wasn't sure it was going to happen before the new year. And then there was a window in the forecast for a few days of sun so I emailed him to see if he was free, he was and he showed up on my doorstep a few days later.
And I just can't say enough about how lucky I feel that he was open enough to take me up on my offer. He arrived without any expectations and was up for just walking the neighborhood with me while I photographed and we talked. One of the first things I learned as we walked away from my house was that he had been interviewing in DC, LA & locally w/ Boeing, had received multiple job offers and was starting a new job the following week with Boeing. So exciting! He shared with me how you learn to walk with a prosthetic leg and after 2 hours on it how it takes so much strength and concentration to focus on walking. But he has only been walking on his new leg for 4 months...I'm sure most people would not be near as proficient as he is and he did confirm that his doctors & therapists have all been amazed with his progress, he is so far ahead of the curve. But I can tell that is just who Jason as always been. A very hard worker that does not let the words difficult or can't slow him down. When I asked Jason if he would crouch down for a few pictures he said sure and as he was about to get up he told me that was the first time he had tried that position with his leg. He made it look so easy and yet it was a first that I was lucky enough to get to see. There are other positives that have resulted from his tragic accident and I am sure his life could have taken a very different path but Jason continually makes a choice to put his head down and take things on as they come instead of turn away and play the victim card. I am sure friends and family will be reading this and I am sure I am barely scratching the surface of the Jason they know and love. I look forward to learning more about this amazing young man in the future. Meeting Jason Wong is on the top of my highlight list for 2010. Jason, thank you for being so amazing and sharing yourself with me. I hope you see these pictures and you can see what an amazing person you are because you embody something very special and I consider myself so lucky to have crossed paths with you that day in September!!
One note, this is how incredible he is at pictures, these are all straight out of the camera as I just haven't had time to work any. I don't think they need much work!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Another beautiful fall day with fabulous kids. I know the 3 pictures of them altogether are similar but I love what is going on in each of them that I wanted to share them all. Their mom just ROCKED her first marathon in NYC...they must be so proud of her, way to go Shannon!!

It is 1:30am & my head is SPINNING!! It started early this morning and has slowed some throughout the day but I think this is just going to be a state of being for a while. But it is ALL good because this afternoon I booked my flight that will be taking me to Sudan. I am over the moon with excitement!! It is really a place I have dreamed of visiting for so many years and I just cannot believe that I am actually going...in just TWO weeks. Yes, that is part of the head spin. The trip dates came earlier and are longer than what I was planning and my stomach was in knots all morning trying to figure out if I can make it work. Thanks to the incredibly understanding & support loved ones in my life (husband, mom & dad to be specific) I will now be away for almost 3 weeks...CRAZY!! It has been almost 15 yrs since I have been on the continent of Africa & that a return is 14 days away is boggling my mind!! And the work that needs to be completed between now and then is almost as mind boggling but I know it will get done!

Loved photographing this family w/ all the fall colors last week. Happy kids equal very happy photographer! And the bonus is that I get to reconnect w/ their great parents who are some of my favorite clients. Always great to catch up with them!

Lots of work going on here...I just feel the time slipping away so I am keeping this very brief. It was fun chasing these boys around with the stunning fall colors providing the perfect backdrop...why doesn't autumn last longer and why isn't it drier so we can really enjoy the colors & crisp air? Wouldn't it be fun to have this stick around longer???

It is late Friday & I am trying to keep my head from spinning off...so I am going to keep this short and you will see that I am too busy to narrow down my favorites. Decided it was going to take too much time & I think they are all worthy of being shared. So, short and sweet it is!! Have a wonderful weekend!