Thursday, December 09, 2010

Leaving Southern Sudan

After a very long & bumpy ride from Torit to Juba we arrived to find we did not have a place to sleep. We were all exhausted and very dirty from the dusty trip, not a fun way to arrive. After a few hrs we moved to a hotel...picture rundown trailer park style motel. Not pretty but they had ac which buoyed our moods. We were looking forward to a nice, solid shower but found only a trickle from the shower head. The day ended w/ the hilarious scenes of trying to sponge bath in w/ just a few inches of water in a basin. It was not pretty but at least the top layer of grime was removed & we were able to laugh our way through it.
I woke early this morning unable to fall back asleep. My head is spinning with so many different thoughts, I am thinking it might pop off soon! I am very excited that I will start my journey home today & be seeing my family on Saturday. I am sure I will be jumping out of my skin w/ excitement when I see them at the airport. This has been the longest I have been away from family since I lived in Lesotho. I am sitting here on my tiny little plank bed, underneath the mosquito net thinking about all the people who have made this trip possible. I could not have done it without having the incredible (and understanding) support of my husband & parents. They really have given me an unforgettable gift. And to my friends & family who provided childcare & extra hands, it made being away that much smoother! And finally to my assistant, Nikki Casey, who did a great job addressing my work issues while I was away, I could not have been away w/o your assistance, thank you!
And then my head is spinning w/ thoughts of what I have seen, S. Sudan's current state & the excitement I have to get home and work through all my images.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have been in S. Sudan during a historical time for the people. The two weeks we were here registrating for the referendum was taking place. People were returning to their home counties from all over this country and outside it. Registration ended Weds. and now they wait until January 9th. The referendum is monumental for the people of S. Sudan. They must receive their independence in order to have any hope of peace in their country. The doctor I am rooming with made a comment last night that it is so strange to think that we get to leave today and in the next few months this area could break out into another war. That is so hard to wrap my mind around. The Sudanese have been through 50+ yrs of war. They are incredibly resiliant and hopeful that this referendum will bring them the peace they have been struggling for years to find. It will be an atrocity if the country falls back into war. If independence is acheived they still have a very long road ahead but at least it will give them a place to start from. Please follow the events of Sudan in the weeks and months to come!
Finally my last thoughts I have had the past few days are in regards to fear. It has been driven home to me on this trip that it is so important not to let fear control your decisions. Prior to my trip, so many people told me I was crazy for wanting to travel to S. Sudan. It was not safe, it was a horrible place, how could I go to such a place and leave my family behind??? It went on and on. I appreciated the concern but felt that I needed to follow my instinct that it was the right thing for me to do and that I would be safe. I would travel with caution but not let this fear divert me. A few days after arriving in Torit I was laying in bed wondering if maybe I should stay in the town and not venture out. Maybe it was a stupid thing to do, maybe I should be afraid...and as I lay there those thoughts overtook me and I started thinking about the what ifs and what the heck was I really doing in Sudan. But I woke in the morning deciding I needed to get out and I couldn't let the unknown be scary to me. And as I traveled w/ caution I found that it was necessary to get out of Torit. So I will stop the rambling here. I am thankful for all the support and concern I received leading up to this trip. It does mean so much that so many care for my safety & well being. But I think it is so important to share here that we all must try hard not to let fear dominate our decision making because we can never move forward and learn if we stay grounded in fear!! I have learned and seen so much during my time here, it has been a trip of a lifetime. And I am so excited to get home and give big hugs and kisses to my family!!
Thank you for following me through this adventure and stay tuned...pictures will be coming soon!

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